מר קו

I miss you Dafna, Omer and Liron!

Visit Israel

My Last Israel Entry.... for now

"If there's a place in the world that can make you cry, isn't that where you ought to be?" Rabbi Daniel Gordis on Israel.

I've spent two months in Israel. I'm back and so happy to see friends and family. But I feel like I left something there. I always feel like that. And I don't quite know how to describe it so I will borrow from a book by Gil Troy, there is a feeling "of belonging, of connectedness, of community, of self respect that comes from a sense of ownership. I feel like Israel is mine, that I belong to Israel and Israel belongs to me." It is not something I feel in Canada (and trust me I am not lacking in my CDN patriotism). For the first time I understand why Jews should mourn being exiled into the Galut (diaspora), as much as I become Canadian, I will never truly belong in the same way I feel I belong in Israel. When I was sitting at the ruins of the Second Temple during Tisha B'av (the day we mourn the destruction of the Second Temple) this was never more apparent to me.

One among many things I've learned....
Again I am going to borrow from Gil Troy to explain the dangers of anti-Zionism. First one must understand that to attack Zionism, rather then Israeli policies or the Israeli government is to repudiate the State of Israel and the idea of a Jewish state. Zionism at its simplest is Jewish nationalism, the understanding that Jews are a people, that Judaism is not just a religion and that Israel is the Jewish homeland. To feel a kinship with a certain community is natural, not racist. Certainly Jews are not the first community in Canada to balance an connection to their respective ethnic heritages with an ardent love for their land. There are a plethora of European nations, who are ironically quick to condemn Israel, which make their own very strict distinctions as to who can become a citizen (try to become a citizen of France, not as easy as you'd think). Every nation state reserves the right to make its own rules regarding citizenship. Anti-Zionism at its core attacks the very right of the Jews to their homeland.

I opened this entry with a quote by Rabbi Gordis. You may ask if a place makes me cry why the hell would i want to live there? I cry when I think of the settlers who were forced out of their homes for Disengagement, I cried when I saw images of soldiers crying and hugging settlers as they escorted them out of Gush Katif when the world expected all out civil war with Jew killing Jew Israeli reacted with no violent protest, I cried on Tisha B'av when I sat by the destructions of the Temple and I cry when innocent Israeli citizens are killed by terrorists, I cry tears of frustration when I see the lies and unwillingness to accept Israel by anti-Zionists and I cry when I saw the Israeli flag flying at our Solidarity with Israel concert last November, I get choked up every time I sing Hatikvah (The Hope), Israel's national anthem, thinking of the meaning of the words, I swell with pride when I read about Israel's many achievements and I cry everytime I leave the country. With so many emotions in me for one country, for one people- how could I think of living anywhere else.

שוטי הנבואה - ידיעה

About the missing Donkey!
PS it's funny b/c I lived near a donkey in Rehovot. Well funny to me.

Shotei Hanevua - קול גלגל

Shotei Hanevua

Went to a concert last night with Dafna and Omer. On a Kibbutz (Lehovot Haviva) literally in the middle of nowhere Israel. Beautiful kibbutz though. I went to see a band called Shotei Hanevua. My G-d it was AMAZING!!!!! We've been talking about bringing them to Toronto for so long and now I'm convinced we should. Dafna said I had a moment with the pianist. LOL! He did look at me more then once, but then I was standing at the front of the stage right in front of him (not to worry BF not becoming a groupie anytime soon and you are so much cuter). I danced like crazy, I sang till my throat hurt and it was just a great way to end my last weekend in Israel. I'm going to miss this place like crazy. Aside from some of the bumps in the road I've had an amazing time here. Discovered a lot about myself, about my friends and about my family (and no I will not share that on here, some thoughts are private even from blogging).

Video Post
Hopefully the video post has worked (if not ignore this). I posted the Shotei Hanevua Kol Galgal which is an amazingly beautiful song. The "video" is not the true video but it is pictures of Tel Aviv and to give you insight to what Tel Aviv looks like for real plus I've been to most of the places that are pictured here. I will also try to post Yedea, which is a real video by the band and is hilarious- it's about their Donkey Dorot that went missing one night and they are looking all over Israel for it (true story apparently - ie they had a donkey and someone stole it- who does that???)

My brain is melting

First things first- my boss called. I wouldn't say things are settled but I'm certainly not as mad as before. Still employed by Hillel and happy again.
Secondly it's bloody hot in this country. I've taken to staying in most of the day and going out after 6PM b/c it's so damn hot.
Seeing as this is my last week and a half I'm hoping to fit in as much as possible before I have to come home. And yes I'm actually a little homesick, but find that I don't actually want to leave Israel that much. So strange.
One thing I've come to realize is that I'm not making Aliyah anytime in the near future. I love this country so much, but life in Canada is way too easy for me. Sure the blistering cold winter nights will have me singing a different tune I'm sure, but things just work better in Canada. And I know that this is in large part to the fact that I'm Canadian and I get it there. Here the language is a barrier, not that people don't speak English b/c most people do. At least a bit and I can get by on my Hebrew. And being put in the position where I'd have no other choice I know I could speak this language fluently. But how long would that take? And what would I be willing to give up for that? I mean I have a Masters. If I were to come to Israel, 10:1 I wouldn't be employed at a standard that would meet my education. That is hard to come to terms with.
That being said Aliyah is not out of the question. Until I do decide I'm ready for that leap, I will continue with the job I love (read: I love what I actually do, the environment can get a little frustrating), continue to support and fight for Israel in the Galut and by this I will make peace with being Jewish but not living in the Jewish homeland.

But I respect beyond belief Olim like Nikki and Goggi! You guys rock!
MATT DAMON!!!!
(don't really respect him, it's just funny... and my brain is melting... but actually!)

Fireflies

Yes this is a post entirely about Eran. I met Eran through Dafna and while he has made aliyah to Canada he happened to be in Israel when I was here. He left on Friday but I feel that I should express my gratitude to him all the same. And well I'm not particularly good at that in person (and the jury is still out if I'm any good at it on my blog) I'm going to try to on the internet. Eran showed me Israel. He made me a pet project of sorts and really took me all over. From the Barry Sacharof and Moshe Ben Ari (ok and Ninette, but I don't like her) concert when I first got here- yes now I'm a Barry Sacharof fan, Moshe Ben Ari is still an ape... a scary ape (but actually his music is pretty good... but scary looking man) to the last day he spent here where he took me hiking in Nachal Amod, hiking at Mt Arbel, to the Kineret, to visit his great Aunt Rosie (she's so sweet if not somewhat freaked out by my presence...oops) to Zichron Yacov, I had an absolutely wonderful time and I can't thank Eran enough for taking me under his wing and showing me so much more of Israel. Thank you Eran I had a great time! I have some great memories that will definately stand out in the years to come and I only hope I can do the same for him in Toronto.

I don't want to complain but...

I'm on vacation and I'm really trying to enjoy it. In fact I've enjoyed it immensely so far, I've enjoyed the times I've spent working for Hillel, Professionally developing for Hillel and I've enjoyed my beach bum status I've gained when not working for Hillel. But now the worries and annoyances have seeped in. I still am not actually employed by Hillel (still waiting for my letter of offer) and I was never told that staff training is not happening by my boss. Now please don't think we completely insensitive b/c my boss's mother passed away about two weeks ago and I know that he's had bigger things on his mind then me. But damn it he had like a month before all this, before his mom got really sick to deal with it and if not him then SOMEONE ANYONE could have bloody well called me to tell me staff training was not happening. I'm here in Israel and my work has no idea how I've been, if I'm alive or dead and they were the ones that sent me here. I'm tired of complaining about the same shit over and over but now there is talk about me switching my flights..... are you bloody well serious???!!! Pardon my French, but fuck it all.

Interesting thought

I was walking down the Diezengoff today and I saw this girl dressed very nicely with a ginourmous magen david around her neck. Magen Davids in Israel are fashionable. You go into the equivalent of Claires or Diva and instead of crosses like in Canada, you see Magen Davids. It made me think, do I wear my Magen David so people know I'm Jewish ("you don't look Jewish") almost as an ID badge or do I wear it b/c it's pretty. Certainly I'm proud to wear it, to be Jewish, but is it so I can be different from others in Canada, really stand out. Here it's clearly different. It made me think.

Apartheid State

Well I'm done my seminar with the Israeli Ministry of Foreign Affairs. Some may call it propaganda, but I would say that our "cousins" would do the same.... wait in fact they do it worse.... see Paliwood (it's rather disturbing). What do I have to say at the end of the day after visiting the "Apartheid Wall"[which is actually more of a fence, in fact about 5% of it is a wall and that is where terrorists were taking sniper shots at those using the highway below] after being given the tour by the man who built the wall, literally, after hearing him say he hopes to be the first one to be able to knock it down, after hearing a settler from Gush Etzion speak, after hearing a Palestinian from the Panorama Centre which strives to bring order and a sort of democracy to the territories and a lasting peace between the territories and Israel, after visiting the Beit Gefen Arab Centre and understanding that co-existence is actually possible and seeing that our cousins have no idea what Apartheid actually is I have come to this conclusion: Israel is in the wrong with it's treatment of Palestinians, it's in the wrong with its treatment of Arab Israelis and Ethiopians. What I've also learned is that it is striving to become a better state, to make life better for Arab Israelis and Ethiopians, to create a separate state for the Palestinians so that they can govern themselves, instead of "occupying" (which they are only "occupying" one of the territories, remember disengagement of Gaza- Sderot certainly does b/c they have been having Qasams raining down on them EVERY week from there- but why would that make International news, not sensational enough, not enough people dying) the West Bank Israel would gladly create a Two State Solution, One Israeli One Palestinian, the unfortunate thing is that the West Bank proves too strategic for defense, especially given the fact that Hamas has proven itself untrustworthy in Gaza. I've also learned that despite all the hardships Arab Israelis have a hell of a lot more rights then most Arabs in the countries surrounding Israel- bull shit you a might say? How about Freedom of Press? (yes there is, in fact Israeli newspapers are the harshest critics of the Israeli gov't) Certainly there is freedom of religion? - same is true elsewhere? hmmm... let's talk about the slaughtered Bahai, or the ever looming shiite sunni conflict, never mind the millions of Jewish refugees who were kicked out of Iran, Iraq, Jordan...the list goes on.... the right to vote, the right to approach the court if they want to protest the location of the security fence. It's not that Israel is always right, no that's not the issue here, it tries, it makes mistakes, it tries to make up for such mistakes. The issue is that you would think that Israel is the only country in the whole world who has these problems. Look at Darfur, look at Pakistan, right of return only exists in Israel? ha, look at France (it's harder then Israel) or Germany.... the list goes on.
At the end of the day, I've realized that Israel has a lot it needs to do, but to call it an Apartheid State and to equate Zionism with Nazism and all the wonderful bull shit the Anti-Israel lobby spews forward is the new Anti-Semitism. Questioning policies of the state of Israel not wrong, questioning it's very right to exist as Jewish State, putting a spot light on Israel the way the Anti-Zionist lobby does is Anti-Semitism. It's a new form. And it's scary b/c it's becoming more and more acceptable.

Yerushalayim Ani Magea

Ok this is the end of my week in Tel Aviv.... Wow.... it has been amazing. This will be a two parter entry:
Part 1:
First day I get here I need to take care of some womanly things. Ie. Waxing so I can go to the beach. Fine so I go to this place literally right below Omer's place. The woman is excellent I want to take her home with me. I love her. But actually. So she's done my legs and she's going to do my bikini line. So I get ready, hold the underwear so she can get to the hair and she says, take them off. WHAT????? ummm...... then she tells me how she wanted to be a nurse in the delivery room but life got in the way and that for that reason I shouldn't be embarassed... right... it's my cupcake being exposed...... then she goes on to tell me that if she had more time she could wax me so my initial was there... or my boyfriends... or a heart, after which she takes out a cut out heart and shows me and tell me she could dye it pink..... oh Lord..... it was..... an experience but she was fantastic b/c it barely hurt. So yeah I guess that's the point.

Part 2:
So was staying with "the Ex" who I will no longer call the Ex b/c to be honest it's not nice. We had some discussions about it, about my blog and about us. He's been an amazing friend here, even gave up his bed for me and has been sleeping on the couch (not an easy feat with two roomates). Who knows what will happen when I go back to Canada I do hope we stay in touch b/c he's been so great to me now and I would really like to be able to call him a friend. I plan on making Israel a part of my life one way or another and it would be amazing to be able to see him when I come in. The BF in no way should have any fears. I love him very much. But this needed to be said b/c I think some of the things I wrote on my blog hurt his feelings and were not taken in the way I meant them. Omer is a great person and I hope to be able to be friends with him for a long time. I know he will find someone who will make him so happy soon b/c he's such a great guy.
Thanks Omer! Tel Aviv has been amazing!

Space Cookies and Moscata

What's the best way to spend Shabbat when you are surrounding by those who are shomer shabbos? Cookies and Moscata under a tree. Yes indeed. Thinking of calling up Nikki next shabbat... and the shabbat after that... and after that... I think I see a pattern developing here.

So today is the last day of the Leadership Trip. I have 2 more tees and a sweatshirt to prove that I was here and maybe I even made a little bit of a difference. Who knows we'll find out during the school year. Living with 3 people how are very religious has been trying at times. It's a strange thing to be shown that you are completely a "bad" Jew (I use the term very loosely) and having to deal with some of the mishugas of keeping kosher or keeping Shabbat actually drove me a little crazy. Like why do I have to be the open minded one all the time? And discussions surrounding the Jerusalem Pride Parade ( and Gay Pride in general) have bordered on offensive with the Torah being used as justification. I just cannot agree with any interpretation of a religion that believes it must live the way we did over 2000 years ago. Things of changed, there is added knowledge and living as though we did back then will not bring me greater spirituality or peace of mind. But that's just my opinion. And here I thought that my time spent here might make me more observant whereas it's flung me in the complete opposite direction. Though not eating bacon or seafood any time soon.

With that little kvetching I must say I find myself thinking that I will actually miss these kids. Hopefully there time spent here will encourage them to get further involved in Hillel.

Off to Tel Aviv today. Finally some time to party it up and live in "Secular Israel"

Bring back my bonnie to me....

BF is out West. Time difference is now 10 hours apart. Miss talking to him. Now I wait by the phone and pine a little. I miss him. I know he misses me. But the nice thing, this time apart making me realize that perhaps he is the one. The one what I'm not 100% sure yet. But I do know that I would like him to stick around for a while. A long while.

At least I'm a foreign National

So most people who read this blog got my mass email about what I've been doing in Israel since my last entry, so this is the stuff that didn't go into that email so that my parents wouldn't freak.
So this weekend I was in Jerusalem for Shabbat. It started nice, I met up with Dafna and a student for lunch and then we went walking around and Dafna showed me Jerusalem (not the old City). The plan was to walk to the Old City (about 15-20 minute walk) to the place I was staying, The Sephardi Educational Centre. As we were touring Dafna's flip flop broke. Completely unfixable. So she decided that we would take a cab to the Old City b/c she had already walked a bit barefoot and let me tell you J-Lem is a dirty dirty dirty city. Now the directions I've been given to get to the Centre are "it's by the main parking lot in the Old City, everyone knows where it is, there's only one main parking lot." So we get into the cab and tell him where we need to go. He does not want to go into the Old City b/c it will be really busy at 4PM on the eve of Shabbat- fair enough just as long as he can get us close and someone can direct me there. Now I've been to this centre before. THREE years ago on Birthright so really I know what it looks like but have no idea where it is. Apparently the cab driver has no idea either. So we call Nikki who is there and she gives the directions that it is right next to the Cardo
which is in the Jewish Quarter in the Old City. Dafna does not understand what it is and the cab driver had no idea. We spend about 15 minutes saying the Cardo. Now I don't know where it is, but I've heard of it before. Distant memory so I know it exists. Both Dafna and the cab driver both have no idea what we are talking about. Yelling ensues in Hebrew and we are kicked out of the cab in East Jerusalem. To be honest, it's not so scary, but with tensions in Gaza it is not so wise for three Jews to be lost in East Jerusalem (though might I interject that Dafna was amazing, and we didn't pay the cab driver... other drivers would make us pay). So now we are completely lost no idea where we are going. Dafna calls her brother for directions and he freaks out b/c we are 3 Jews amongst many possibly disgrunteled Arabs. We figure we need to get to the Jaffa Gate and start making out way there.
All of a sudden I sense someone right next to me and Dafna yells "eh lech me po!" (translation get the hell out of here) but really yells and then this guy yells back he thinks it's a bloody joke. If Dafna had not yelled he probably would have ended up kissing my neck or something; not a big deal you might think but the fact is it is harrassment. So being lost, almost being molested and the heat with my heavy back pack did not make me a happy girl.
Fast forward to Sunday, we are heading out of J-Lem in a cab and there is crazy traffic and there is a street closed so our cab driver tells Nikki he knows a short cut. We quickly realize that the short cut is through the Arab Village of Silwan. Once again, no problems now but well tensions plus being Jewish.... with an Arab cab driver- these are situations most people try to avoid. Of course I'm blissfully ignorant of where we are, even though Nikki begins acting strange and I'm wondering why, then I see it. The Hamas flags. Ah. Not friendly territory.
We made it through and the cab driver decides he doesn't want to drive us the whole way. So we walk the 3 blocks to Nikki's place. OY. Once we get out the cab Nikki turns to me and says "I figured Rebecca will be alright, at least she's a foreign national, me I'm screwed." (Nikki holds and Israeli passport and ID card). To which I respond "Well I would have sent a search party."
It has been an interesting time here in J-Lem.
Volunteering has been great. We volunteered for Save a Child's Heart. Most rewarding experience I've had in a long time. We met children from Iraq, Zanzibar and Ethiopia. They were all amazing and so friendly. Good things that SACH does. Great things. Kol Hakavod.

Married Woman... me?

Things are going well over here b'Eretz Yisrael.
It's hot, but not unbearably so. The nights are cool enough so that I can sleep. I imagine it will get hotter.
Yesterday we travelled to Jerusalem to visit the Museum on the Seam. We attended an exhibit called Equal and Less Equal. I found it interesting in the exhibit is about "The disparity between the vision of equal opportunity, and its application, is greater than many of us know or are willing to admit." I'm not sure all the students found it very interesting though unfortunately. Perhaps too leftist, too ambiguous, too abstract. Either way it was kind of neat to be on the Seam (where Jordan used to Border Israel). I got into this cab with 3 of my students and it became very clear that our cab driver had no idea where we were going. Oh trying to explain in broken Hebrew/English so much fun. He was very friendly though. So I suppose that's something. Anyway, he left us off at the Damascus Gate. In East J-Lem- for those who do not know, East J-Lem is the Arab part of J-Lem. So it was me, and two religious boys and one girl. It was intimidating at first. But people were really friendly and helped us. So I don't know. It was an interesting experience in the end. And it was rather amusing to learn that we were literally around the corner from where we needed to be. Ah the streets in J-Lem, even more confusing then Montreal.
After that I went to Nikki's friend for a massage. Yup I ditched for an hour- anyway the student were in lecture so I didn't really need to be there. One glorious hour of massage and reflexology which I've never had done. Freaky thing she started with the reflexology and when she was done she goes, do you have problems with your ears... WHOA!!! Freaky. So relaxing.
She used oils and also massaged my back, decollte, face and scalp. Which meant I left her place a very oily grease monkey. My hair was so gross and I knew that I still had a couple of hours for dinner and walking around J-Lem. So I decided I would buy a scarf to cover my head. I asked if anyone knew how to wrap it so I looked bohemian and not fruhm. No one did, but my hair was nasty and clearly I'm superficial so I wrapped it anyway. Better to look fruhm then homeless. In any case I can imagine there was quite a disconnect for most people who passed me, this girl with the covered head in a tight "brainy tee shirt", tight jeans and flip flops. One of my students said I looked married. And proceeded to call me "married woman." Oy.

Tommorrow we got to J-Lem again for Shabbat at the Sephardi Heritage Centre. I haven't seen any of my friends here yet but I've been busy and in the middle of nowhere so it's hard I imagine. Hopefully soon!

Miss you all out there.

Especially bf who I've managed to speak to every day, but it's so hard. I mean I'm having a great time. How could I not? But there is something that's just missing.

Canadian Dollars.... What???

So I've touched down in Israel and made it to Kfar Gvirol; a suburb of Rechovot which is a suburb of Tel Aviv. I'm in the middle of nowhere. But clearly they have Internet so it's not all bad.

The plane ride here was long and arduous, no I'm not being dramatic. I went from Toronto to London and almost threw up when we were landing... ah new symptoms I have to deal with when I'm descending. On the flip side feeling so incredibly nauseous and reaching for the "motion sickness bag" while being trapped next to the window with two people I would have to jump over, one being a very old Indian man made me forget the excruciating pain of descending that I generally experience in my ears and my across my face. Ah the small things in life.

When I arrived in London I was trying to determine how I would get to Heathrow from Gatwick airport; which is what the Travel Cuts travel agent told me I would have to do. I spent hours trying to determine the best way to get from Gatwick to Heathrow, I ruined my back from stress and sitting in front of the computer as I tried to figure out a way that I could figure out a way to go from Gatwick, to London Victoria to Heathrow as my boss suggested as I did have a 6 hour layover. But when we were landing (as it seemed to say on my ticket, but who am I to question) the pilot said welcome to heathrow, the signs said welcome to Heathrow... everything was very Heatrowy... I rationalized, that maybe Gatwick is sort of part of Heathrow, perhaps they call it Heathrow Gatwick and there is a main Gatwick, what do I know I'm sick, tired and haggard from flying. I get to the customs agent and I ask him if this is Gatwick. He looks at me like I'm bloody insane. Like shouldn't I sort of know where I've landed. And rightly so. He says that this is Heathrow- I show him my ticket on Lufthansa (my connecting flight) he says "right, so you are in the right airport and even in the right terminal." Silly Canadian.

I arrive in Tel Aviv. I get pulled aside for questioning. Why? Yes ladies and gents, my Pakistani passport. To be honest I knew it would happen and they were... respectful about it... almost nice. But understand it's 3AM here, and I've barely slept for a day. I do not function well without sleep so being questioned THREE times about the same exact thing, having to explain three times that HILLEL is not EL AL was just exhausting. On top of the Dafna was waiting for me and I was freaking a little about my luggage.

Clearly I made it into the country and now I'm with the Hillel students and enjoying myself. It's slow here, but that's good considering the jet lag. Yes 330AM call to the bf because I can't sleep. Well that was actually nice. Very nice. Oh I miss you.

Finally, I got to change my money yesterday in the Rechovot Mall (there is one mall only) I go up to the counter and say I want to buy shekels with Canadian Dollars. He says dollars? I say Canadian dollars? Dollars? Canadian. US dollars? C-A-N-A-D-I-A-N. Canadian. US? ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nikki interject, Canadi (no seriously that's how you say Canadian in Hebrew- Ka-Na-Dee) AHHHH... they get it. WHAT???? Argh.

I did however order for myself in Hebrew at Cafe Aroma. AND I got what I wanted too.

BF- kisses for you xoxo

Leaving on a Jet Plane... Hahah... I accidentally wrote Jew Plane

My bags are not packed and I'm nowhere near ready to go. In fact I'm still waiting for my itinerary from the travel agent. But at least I have a date for when I will be going to Israel- YAY!!!
It is bittersweet though. On the one hand I'm thrilled to go to Israel- I mean who wouldn't be? (ok so I know there are a lot of people who wouldn't be thrilled as I have to deal with daily in my advocacy position but right now I don't really care about them b/c I AM GOING TO ISRAEL!!!). So I'm going to be there for 2 months- YIPEE!!!- alright I might die of heat stroke, there might be war (though I'm praying there won't be, and not just b/c I'll be there) but I'm going to see my friends and family and spend 2 months in a country I love being in. Wow I'm excited. On the other hand, it means not seeing the BF for 2 whole months; which I wouldn't see him if I stayed in Toronto b/c he's going to camp in BC, but at least it's only 3 hours, as opposed to 10 hrs difference, and well, I could possible visit if I felt the urge. Not a possibility while in Israel. Because I'm the Queen of Repression and Denial the distance, separation and those other lovely fears have not truly seeped into my consciousness, well my aware consciousness that is. Though the other day I was thinking about him and got really sad and realized that perhaps I'm not doing such a great job anymore. I'll miss you so much!