And so...

Well it's been a very long time since I last wrote and I figure an update is appropriate now.
Work- Still love being a Hillel Butcher. Though I've started to lose a little steam. It's tiring seeing how much a certain group of people really just hate you. How unwilling they are to engage in dialogue and sometimes I wonder how open I am to dialogue. I mean if someone denies your very existence what sort of conversation can you possibly have with them? But the staff I work with are still kick ass, as much as I might moan and groan and complain every once in a while and the students are just amazing! Really and truly amazing. I now wish I had gotten involved in Hillel when I was in university.
Love life- yeah well that's still shit. Yup that's right shit. Not going anywhere. I mean I suppose it's not necessarily getting worse. But then I'm scared to think about what worse would be. The guys I'm interested in have girlfriends, don't want relationships or are just non-existent. Friends tell me to stay positive, which is strange b/c I feel like I've always been pretty positive, but lately there is this nagging feeling that maybe things won't quite work out the way I want them to. Maybe I won't actually find that person who is supposed to enrich my life and bring out the very best in me. It's a strange feeling b/c for all intents and purposes, life's good right now. I love my job, I love my friends (who I actually don't see as much as I'd like to- so that's not that best) and I'm going to Pakistan for the first time (after I go to Baltimore; which just doesn't sound quite as interesting), but I guess I'm starting to get the very first, preliminary feelings of the fear of being alone in that that no matter how wondeful my friends may be they won't be able to fill that gap.
How much do you think I'm worth in Pakistan? I'm thinking two camels and an oil rig.
When I get my visa to Pakistan I will write again- until then I will worry about that falling apart.
Love to all of you still reading this!